Tuesday, April 14, 2009

You know Radio Birdman!!!!!!!!?

Rachel, Gard, Darren and me.

The Hobgoblin.....what can I say. You ever get the feeling, as soon as you walk into someplace, that you were destined to be there? That the inextricable hand of fate has laid out a course for you that put you in that exact place and time for a reason?

That was walking into The Hobgoblin for us.....we've already mentioned Motorhead on the jukebox...there is more....so much more!!

While conversing with the manager, Darren, Gardner finds out he is originally from Brisbane. Our standard question to all Aussies follows...."You heard of Radio Birdman?". This question is normally followed by us explaining how great the band is, and how the person in question should check them out....not so this day my friends!

Darren incredulousy fires back, "You know Radio Birdman!!" Apparently, he doesn't run into people as well informed, intelligent, and of the discerning musical taste of the G-man and myself. We impress him further by mentioning The Lime Spiders, The Hard Ons, and The New Christs. So, within 10 minutes of walking into the place, I hugged the manager like we were best buddies....we were, we were bound by the most powerful of all agents...ASS KICKING PUNK ROCK!

Gard and I came back to our new home away from home a little before 10pm, after watching Red Dwarf and a smeg ups episode across the street. A few familiar faces and some new friends were on hand to greet us. The night was an absolute blur of coolness....the jukebox in the place is second to none, packed full some of punk and garage rock's finest. Most of them on mixes created by the man himself.

Rachel, in all of her firey haired hotness, is not only a fan of The Ox(John Entwistle of The Who to the uninformed), but is a bass player herself, AND is studying history......how perfect is she!!?

We also met a great group of Polish kids, I say kids because they were under 30, upstairs. They invited us out on Sunday night...we'll get to that later.

I could ramble about the complete and utter awesomeness of the eve, but lets just say that in my perfect vision of the perfect pub to hang out in, the only way The Hobgoblin is lacking is that I dont live next door to it.

We parted ways with promises to come back by and drop off some cd's of bands we are sure Darren would like.

Some more shots from The Hobgoblin....


G-Man makin friends....

I WILL visit Brazil before I die....

Bettie!?

He was only five foot three, girls could not resist his stare.

Episode two, and the kindness of strangers.


So....the story continues. We walk into the best pub in the universe, and as we are explaining our plight, we are asked by one of the other patrons, "What channel is it on?". Having beged half the city of Bath if we could watch with them, we reply, Sky 111. John, our newest bestest buddy says he can put it on in his resturaunt, The Lamb and Lion, which is acroos the street from The Hobgoblin.....SMEGGING BRILLIANT!!!

We show up and there's our good buddy John behind the bar, the place is pretty busy, but he still finds time to say hi and turn on the tele for us. We order dinner and drinks, if you ever get the chance to ahve stout and steak pie, do so, and get an entire corner of ther place to ourselves....too freakin cool!!

The show is great....it is in episode 2 that the plot twist is introduced. It came out of nowhere, but completely makes sense in then context of the series as a whole. Another half hour that passed far to quickly....some shots from my cell:


Listy


Rimmer and Katerina Bartikovsky.


Carbug.

A great start to a great night.....now back to The Hobgoblin....

Mercy mercy Mr Percy, there ain't nothing left in Jersey, but a broken down jalopy, of the man I left behind.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Day two....tragedy! Panic....frantic searching...begging....SUCCESS!!!....and the best damn pub in the Universe!


Day two....episode two.

High as a kite from episode one, we awake....sometime around 1pm to a beautiful sunny day.....rememeber, Steve had us watching tv until 4am.... A quick lunch in a fabulous courtyard cafe, then off to the local shops to get prezzies for the women folk. Sarah and Courtney have stoically endured our irrational obsession with the show, so we felt compelled to bring back something from our odyssey...I was motivated because my wife is the coolest person I know, and I still can't believe 7 years later that she married a geek like me....but that is another story.

Our viewing plans for the evening had been a bit sketchy for Saturday, as Steve had plans to go to a friends to catch a special episode of Dr Who. We spent most of our day after shopping for the ladies running from pub to pub, hotel to hotel searching for someone to let us tune in for a meager 30 minutes....30 minutes is all we asked to fulfill what at this point, we see as our destiny....

Lady luck, the fickle bitch that she is stymied us at every turn. Saturday, April 11th brought one of the biggest football matches of the year to the UK....no joy me hearties....Red Dwarf, Back to Earth, episode 2 seemed to be a ship we would not board...a train we could not catch....a lusty wench to be bedded by the whole of England excepting us.

Dejected and broken hearted...contemplating ritual suicide in the face of our dishonor and failure....we looked up to see the Hobgoblin. We had walked by the pub on the previous day in our first rambling about town, and we both remarked that it looked like a cool place, and that we should pay it a visit.

The door opens, and we are smacked in the face with the dulcet strains of one Mr Ian Fraser Kilmister....known to his initiates as Lemmy.

When is the last time you walked into a bar or pub in the US and they had Motorhead playing on the jukebox? I fucking thought so....we, my friends, were home.

A quick scan of the pub yielded no tele, so we resigned oursleves to drinking with these kindred spirts all night and drowing our misery in hand pulled pints of the ambrosia known as Hobgoblin ale....

While telling our tale to the manager and barkeep Darren...we were overheard by a sympathetic ear....our saviour, a man known only as John took pity on our quest...like the sword from the lake, he came forward to champion our cause....to end the suffering we had....we had.....suffered.
Our Hero...John.

My Dad's better than your dad, he's got eight cars and a house in Ireland.

Sing It.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Day One.....Episode One....


Bath is a gorgeous.


So day one dawns on us making the descision to change venues.....the Hostel just isn't working out. Nothing against the hostel or its staff....20 years ago, I could see myself loving it there. It was by all means full of friendly, interesting people that I had a ton of fun talking with. Truth be told, G and I are 42 and 40, and realized that we require certain things from an abode, no matter how temporary....the least of which is a lack of body odor and crack of dawn full volume conversation of our roomates.

We cross the street to find the last room in the Goerges Hotel...literally, across the street. By comparison, the room is positively palatial....with its own bathroom!!....attached!

Most of the day is spent wandering around the city. the great thing about Bath, is that it is what you picture the quintessential small English city to be. Sandstone buildings, an abbey (in the states it would be a cathedral), cobblestone streets, a canal...friggin briliant!



Abbey Courtyard

Abbey

Pooch

Canal

We grab a dinner of fish and chips and a pint of local brew...hand pulled, before heading out to Steve's to watch the show. Steve lives outside the city proper we grab a cab and get there around 8:15. Hellos and hugs are exchanged, and we get to the business at hand of drinking and watching the show.

The show is brilliant, I can't begin to describe the feeling of hearing that all too familiar tune...."It's cold outside, there's no kind of atmosphere...." chills and goosebumps, uncontrollable flatulence...you name it, we ran the gamut of human emotion.....Our biggest complaint is the lack of a laugh track....it worked well in the previous series, and we were all baffled by its omission here. The Cat(Danny John Jules), seems the least affected by the ravages of time, but as a whole the cast looked great. The writing got serious for about a minute, then the Cat made his appearance and all was well with the universe. The half hour went by far too quickly, but fortunatley Steve had plans for us.

What followed was a whirlwind tour of the best of Brit comedy, we watched "The IT Crowd", "Peepshow", "Brass Eye" and possibly the most innovastive and original show I have ever seen, "Garth Marenghi's Darkplace"

The night was capped by the two part season finale of "Dr Who".......that brought nearly everyone in the room to tears, arguably the best two hours of the Dr I have ever seen.

We left Steve's place at 4:30am to catch our cab back into the heart of our new favorite city. In the words of the ever effusive Steve O'Brien..."Fucking Hell"

in a sluggish economy
inflation,recession
hits the land of the free


Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Hostel from Hell!


Transcript from the Doctor's Office (and we don't mean Dr. Who, unfortunatley):

Doctor: Well guys, tell me what happened.

Mick: I don't want to... to... I can't talk about--
Gard: Well Doc, see, it was like this (cue flashback music and go to soft focus with actors' recreation). Everything went off without a hitch. our flight was amazing. The flight attendants even gave us bottles of wine because we all had so much fun. I've never had a smoother trip to England. Train was perfect. Nice night. Everything was great! I wasn't even tired after getting only four hours of sleep, at most! But then... Then...
Mick: Then we got to the hostel.
Gard: No. NO! NOOOOO!
Doctor: Please Gardner, sit down. Get back on the couch. Nurse!!!
Gard: The HORROR! THE HORROR! The dark recesses of it as we walked in, the bad graffitti on the walls, the skunky dude on the third floor, looking like he was some kind of troll or fantasy piper unearthed from The Wicker Man! AAAARGH!!! The creaky stairs, the thin walls, the SMELL, the SMELL!
Mick: Smegorama!!!
Gard: It was probably worse than Lister's socks!
Mick: Gard. Stop. No more.
Doctor: No, please, go on.
Mick: What are you, some kind of masochist on a diet?
Doctor: I'm not the one who slept there for a night.
Mick: Doc, that was a reference to Hitchhiker's Guide, if you didn't know. And... Why do you assume I got any sleep?
Doctor: What do you mean?
Gard: Doc, when the guide opened our door (the 'Motown' room, it was labeled), a wall of atmosphere assaulted us like the physical equivilent of a Streisand disc.
Doctor: Oh, my God!
Gard: Yeah, it was like liquid, like we were being submerged in a vat of steaming brine.
Mick: Gard, no more. Please.
Gard: I know, buddy. I know. But...
Mick: Doc, all I want to say is that it was like being in the back of a van smuggling illegal immigrants through the Rio Grande in August.
Doctor: You mean across.
Mick: No. THROUGH. And remember, we're libertarians. Immigration is awesome, and we believe government should get outta the way of peaceful human interaction. But doc! It's the only way I can describe it. Like a van filled with desperate people, all sweating, hot, breathing heavily... The air was a palpable thing, a living creature, a liquid monster that wanted to smother us and suck all that is good and pure and take our lives and honor and make us weep like babies, and...
(sobs)...
Gard: There were eight people in that one small room, all breathing through their mouths, having brought their wet towels into it to perfume the air with that as well! We had to get out. Get out... We had to...
Mick: Doctor, all I can say is I felt like I was drowning...
Doctor: Malcolm. It's okay. I understand you had to get away. And you did. You found a new place the next day. You worked hard, and it's alright now.
Mick: But Doc, the memories.. I can't UN-learn them!
Doctor: I know Mick. But all I have to tell you is...

Rise above, you're gonna rise above.

Sorry Folks!!!











There has been a snag in the vids, so we most likely won't post any movies until we get back and can convert and edit them. Turns out JVC is the only digital camrecorder manufacturer who uses a proprietary format....twats!
Sooooo, the trip out. Un-smegging-believable. Everything went great. We got into Logan about 2 and a half hours early, we figured the Thursday before Easter weeekend would be a big travel day....not so. There were three people in line ahead of us at airport "security".....I call it that because, a) I take no comfort from the job TSA is doing, and b) "Airport Civil Rights Violation by an Unconstitutional Organization" is too long.....

We breeze through security...and get to the gate reather quickly for a long ass wait. We board a plane that is about 30% filled with travellers. One of which is a strikingly augmented young lady and her "gentlman" friend...once again, the quotes are used sarcastically for reasons you will find out in a sec.

So this "lady", decided to head to the bathroom as soon as the plane hits cruising altitude, quickly followed by her friend....to emerge 20 minutes later to a complimentary bottle of champagne and applause from the flight attendants! Yes folks, we were there for a mile high quickie!
Well, the coolest part of the trip was the conversation. We ended up chatting for roughly 7 hours with the awesome lady seated behind me, Victoria, who was on her first trip to the British Isles, and became a favorit stop of the airplanes staff. We talked of mythology, politics, wholistic healing, television, movies, books, the sad state of mental care facilities in the US, and witnessed a Rieki session first hand. The flight ended with hugs all around, exchanges of emails, and gifts of wine from the flight atendants.

We make it to customs, where for some reason, normally humorless and dry people tend to work. I approach my agent, go through the series of normal questions, how long are you staying, business or pleasure, where are you staying...yada yada...then he asks, "what is the purpose of your visit?" I reply "I'm here to watch TV!" After explaing our mission, the Back to Dwarf project and such, I am met with "fucking hell mate, that's crazy." This guy turns to the agent next to him(who is checking Gard through) and says, "These nutters are here to watch Red Dwarf", without missing a beat she replies, "That show is brilliant, its the last three episodes you know."
Our first fan encounter....we breeze on through customs and off to the busses. We catch a bus to Reading station to catch our train to Bath. Upon arrival, I realise I have booked the tickets for the wrong day, I made my rezzies for the 10th, and it is the 9th. The awesome attendant, Matt Parker, not only exchanges them for the right tickets, but gets us on an earlier train to Bath....where we arrive at our inexpensive backpackers hostel.....but that is another story....

We've got nothing better to do, than watch TV, and have a couple of brews.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

"Phoning it in."




As expected, my heart isn't in my work today....as opposed to the stupendous amount of motivation I have on other days....I spent about a half hour setting this shot up. It is a corgi Red Dwarf straight from the London......what the hell is wrong with me.
Less than 24 hours until departure!!! Very excited. Everything is packed, so nothing to do tonight but hang out with the wife and animals.
God save the Queen. We need it man.





Tuesday, April 7, 2009



So here's the deal....two guys who are insane for this Brit show called Red Dwarf are heading to Bath, UK, to visit some friends, make new ones, check out the city, drink beer at room temp, and.....and......catch the final three episodes of our favorite show, Red Dwarf.
So yeah, we're basically going to England to watch TV.



A little background. Red Dwarf aired first on BBC2 in 1988. It ran for 8 seasons until 1999. It went off the air for 10 years, to return this spring on the Dave Network on April 10th, 11th and 12th.
Check out the wiki site for a synopsis of the series...
The series is ending as the crew of the Dwarf, after countless adventures, mishaps, marriges, deaths, groinal socket malfunctions, cross dressing villains, GELFS, musical numbers, and dashing alter egos, finally find their way home.....Back to Earth.
The G-man and I will do our best to update you on our own adventures as we cross the pond to be there for our boys triumphant return.
Smegging off.......